HITS' 38th ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL: IT'S FOR YOU

Do you recognize the adorable tot in this photo, who learned at a tender age how to pick up the phone and say "Hey Buddy?" Well, whether you do or not, the image is intended as a reminder that HITS' annual cavalcade of classic pics, gently recycled articles and other filler—also known as our Anniversary Special—is in the works.

It is our 38th anniversary, incidentally, and yes, we know we look much older than that.

We share this less-than-momentous news in order to remind you that you have a crucial role to play in this process: What we laughably refer to as the "content" in this issue exists merely to fill the white space between your handsomely designed, stunningly clever advertisements, for which we have already begun grubbing with intrusive, guilt-tripping emails.

Will a photo of you appear in this year's Anni? If you're reading this drivel, the odds are decent. But why leave it to chance? Operators are standing by. Don't make us come over there.