THE LINE DRIVE: PURLOINED PLAYLISTS

The headline of yesterday’s Queens Daily Eagle —“Queens Man Convicted”—was the kind of humiliation that the New York borough’s not-so-favorite-son hates more than even Alvin Bragg.

The shade thrown by the Eagle’s editorial board was certainly the most effective Trumpenfreude of the day, precisely because it served to remind Felon Don that after a lifetime spent denigrating the “outer borough” of his birth, he has now been unceremoniously kicked back there by the Manhattanites whose acceptance he’s spent his entire adult life cravenly craving.

Now, turning 78 in two weeks, he is once again just some poor schlep from Queens, which, if you’re keeping score at home, plainly doesn’t want him back. In 2016 he lost the borough to Hillary Clinton by a margin of 75.4% to 21.8%; in 2020, Biden got 72% and Trump crept up a whole five points to 26.9%

So what does this all mean to HITS readers? Three words: the Lanham Act.

Even if you think falsifying business records to cover up an illegal two-year corporate contribution from the National Enquirer to catch Donald Trump every time his pecker got him in trouble and to kill the reputations of his political opponents (“Lyin’ Ted Cruz,” “Crooked Hillary”) is no big deal, you should care about the Lanham Act.

Calling the Georgia Secretary of State to “find” 11,780 votes that didn’t exist (who doesn’t do that?), keeping secret nuclear documents in your bathroom (that’s where I keep mine), orchestrating a RICO conspiracy to overturn election results (has anybody even met this “RICO” guy?)—none of it really affects your life, does it?

But violating the Lanham Act? That crosses a red line. Also known as the Federal Trademark Law of 1946, it prohibits the theft of copyrighted material “used in commerce, or registered with a bona fide intent to use it in commerce.” That’s music, folks.

And Donald Trump is an unrepentant serial music thief.

In 2015, no less a patriot then Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler demanded that Trump’s campaign stop playing “Dream On” at its rallies, citing the “false impression [that Tyler endorsed] the presidency of Mr. Trump." Not only did Trump continue to steal the song, he added Tyler’s “Livin’ on the Edge” to his purloined playlist in 2018.

The list of those whose work Trump has stolen reads like a wall in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame: The Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen, Elton John, R.E.M., Guns N' Roses, Neil Young and the estates of Prince and Tom Petty.

George Harrison’s estate had the best response to Trump’s illegal use of “Here Comes the Sun.” It said that particular song could not be used at MAGA rallies, but it would consider licensing “Beware of Darkness.”

Donald Trump is picking your pocket. Even The Village People know it. They told the Macho Man to keep his hand out of their pants.

But he ignored them, too. When you’re a star, you can grab artists by the wallet.

In addition to serving as HITS' roving political correspondent, David Bender is an author, journalist and advocate; he also served as the guest editor of our Pride special.