NEW SUITS FOR A NEW YEAR

Hole Singer Takes The "Court" Part Of Her Name A Bit Too Seriously and Other Judicial Matters

COME WITH ME TO COURT
As the Jan. 8 trial of Sean "Puffy" Combs draws closer, his attorneys announced galpal Jennifer Lopez may be tapped as a witness. Puff Daddy faces gun and bribery charges stemming from a Dec. '99 nightclub shooting in New York. While Lopez was present at the time of the incident, she was questioned by police, but never charged. Combs' attorney Benjamin Brafman told the New York Daily News: "We have not made a final decision about whether Ms. Lopez will be called to testify or not. But to be on the safe side, we've asked her to send out a nice Versace dress to be dry-cleaned." Meanwhile, in a pretrial hearing Friday (1/5), prosecutors will seek permission to tell jurors about Combs' shady past, including previous gun-possession incidents, a 1999 arrest and conviction in the beating of record executive Steve Stoute and failure to release Fuzzbubble's debut CD on his Bad Boy label.

ODB SETS AN EXAMPLE
Has Ol' Dirty Bastard turned role model? During the beleaguered rapper's arraignment Tuesday (1/3) in Queens, NY, prosecutors said ODB asked police to "do the right thing" and "make the drugs disappear" while being arrested on drug possession charges in July '99. According to prosecutor Ken Holder, the Wu-Tang Clan member stated: "I have a license, but I don't have it on me. I ain't got no ID. Can you make the drugs disappear? The marijuana charge, I'll take. Make the rocks disappear—the kids look up to me. They listen to my music; I'm a role model. Do the right thing. You're gonna know who I am." ODB's trial had been delayed due to his stint—and escape—from a Pasadena, CA rehab center. ODB still faces a warrant in California, which mandates that he be held without bail, even if a judge in another jurisdiction wanted to rule otherwise. According to attorney Peter Frankel, the rapper was planning on returning voluntarily to rehab when he was arrested outside a Philadelphia McDonald's. Said Frankel: "He just wanted to be first in line for the return of the McRib sandwich."

THE LITTLE GIRLS DON'T UNDERSTAND
NSYNC
heartthrob Justin Timberlake is being sued by a very pissed off 15 year-old fan. According to SonicNet, Danielle McGuire filed charges of intentional infliction of distress and false imprisonment of a minor after an incident at a St. Louis hotel following the band's Nov. 19 concert. According to court papers, McGuire was among a group of teens waiting for the teen dreams in the lobby of the Chelsea Park Hotel. When Timberlake failed to acknowledge the teens, McGuire shouted: "JC's cuter anyway." McGuire alleges a security guard then led her upstairs, where she was verbally assaulted by Timberlake, before being rescued by her mother. Meanwhile, Mrs. McGuire has threatened to sue the entire band because she feels Bobby Sherman was hotter than any of 'em.

MUSIC'S MOST BEWILDERING NIGHT
Gauchos got what they'd long deserved, 20 years too late. (12/30a)
TRUMP ASKS SCOTUS TO PAUSE TIKTOK BAN
A highly unlikely prospective hero (12/28a)
TOP 50: A LITTLE SZA, A WHOLE LOTTA CHRISTMAS
We won't have to hear "The Little Drummer Boy" again for 10 months. (12/27a)
PHOTO GALLERY: PICS OF THE WEEK OF THE YEAR (PART TWO)
More weasel photo ops (12/30a)
TOP 50: A LITTLE SZA, A WHOLE LOTTA CHRISTMAS
The final album chart of the year (12/27a)
NOW WHAT?
We have no fucking idea.
COUNTRY'S NEWEST DISRUPTOR
Three chords and some truth you may not be ready for.
AI IS ALREADY EATING YOUR LUNCH
The kids can tell the difference... for now.
WHO'S BUYING THE DRINKS?
That's what we'd like to know.
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