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FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK…

We Hope You’ve Passed The Rigorous Physical And Scored At Least A 28 On The ACT

AND YOU THOUGHT PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST WAS TOUGH TO NEGOTIATE
Controversial rapper Eminem agreed on Monday (8/28) not to seek physical custody of his 4-year-old daughter, Hallie Jade Scott, The Macomb Daily reports. In return, his estranged wife Kimberly Mathers has dropped her $10 million lawsuit. The agreement also allows Kimberly Mathers to keep the couple's Sterling Heights, MI, home and freezes their financial "status quo" for the time being. Though the judge asked Eminem for a promise to behave, the rapper could not grant such a request. "If I stayed out of the news," Eminem said, "what would Hitsdailydouble write about?"

THE DEVIL WENT DOWN TO SO CAL
Although it's a known fact that artists like Michael Bolton and Jewel have sold their souls to Satan for success, Reel Big Fish is taking a different approach. The ska-punks are offering the soul of trumpeter Tavis Werts not to Beezlebub, but to a lucky fan in a one-of-a-kind auction. The 23-year-old virgin soul (people say they're best kind) is guaranteed for an "eternity of enjoyment." To place a bid, go to Reel-Big-Fish.com or eBay. Payments will be accepted by cash or money orders only, and there are no refunds. The auction ends 9/5. When posed with the moral dilemma of selling a soul, the band stated: "We've signed a major label contract. Since when is the selling of our souls an issue?"

RIDE ‘EM COWGIRL!
Western sweetheart Dale Evans has been earned a place in the Texas Country Music Hall of Fame. The 87-year-old widow of cowboy star Roy Rogers was inducted this past weekend during a ceremony in Carthage, TX. Evans did not attend the festivities, citing health problems. Evans starred in 35 movies and a 1950s television series with her husband and co-wrote the couple's theme song, "Happy Trails." Rogers, who died in 1998, is immortalized with a Coke-and-grenadine mixture named for him as well as the Roy Rogers Museum in Victorville, CA, where his trusty horse, Trigger, is mounted and stuffed. Rogers, however, did not undergo taxidermy. Said Evans: "Who needs an old cowboy when you've got a big hunk of stallion? Now, where are my spurs and riding crop?"

MORE DANGEROUS THAN THE HITS' MEN'S ROOM
Actress Britt Ekland broke her ankle and wrist while presenting schlock-rocker Marilyn Manson with his Hall of Fame gong at the Kerrang! Awards ceremony Aug. 29. According to Brit (that's short for British, not for Ms. Ekland) Web site Q Online, Ekland— the ex-wife of actor Peter Sellers and Stray Cat Slim Jim Phantom and who has also been linked to rocker Rod Stewart—slipped on a wayward cantaloupe tossed onstage by the members of Slipknot. The masked band swept the awards by winning Best Band In The World, Best Single for "Wait and Bleed" and Best International Live Act. Said Manson of the incident: "Melon? What melon? The chick was just throwing herself at me."

HE MAY FIND HIMSELF IN HIS OWN PRISON
A Pennsylvania man said that he has no idea why he was attacked with a hatchet as he was leaving a Creed concert in Camden, NJ. Chris Schneck had just left the show at the E-Center the night of Aug. 26 when someone attacked his friend with a piece of lumber in the parking lot. Schneck said he was hit from behind as he went to intervene. "I can't imagine who would have done such a thing," said one source, "Limp Bizkit's out of the country right now."

WILL THE BRIDE WEAR WHITE?
Madonna is set to marry her boyfriend, British film director Guy Ritchie, by the end of the year, Britain's Sun tabloid reported on Wednesday. Erin Berg, Ritchie's producer and friend, was quoted by the tabloid as saying: "He intends to marry Madonna by Christmas." Madonna gave birth to the couple's son Rocco in Los Angeles three weeks ago.

NEAR TRUTHS:
DESERT SONG
Give I.B. a bottle of water. (4/12a)
AARON BAY-SCHUCK AND TOM CORSON: THE HITS INTERVIEW (PART ONE)
Bunny's hoppin' again. (4/12a)
COACHELLA: SETS TO SEE AND PLACES TO BE
Your desert deets are here. (4/12a)
SONG REVENUE: SONY
HITS FAST FORWARD
Walkin' tall in vintage fashion (4/12a)
THE COUNT: SUPERSTARS TO SURPRISE AT COACHELLA?
The latest tidbits from the vibrant live sector (4/12a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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