BO SAYS NIKE DON’T KNOW DIDDLEY

Rock pioneer Bo Diddley has filed a lawsuit against Nike, alleging that the company is marketing T-shirts bearing the inscription "You Don't Know Diddley" without his permission. The catchphrase was part of a Nike ad campaign that ran between 1989 and 1991, featuring multi-sports star Bo Jackson.

According to the suit, Nike contacted Diddley's management in January 1999 to discuss a possible agreement to continue selling the shirts, but no agreement was ever reached.

"We believed there was an agreement," said Vada Manager, Director of Global Issues Management for Nike. "I don't think we'd produce products without at least a verbal agreement. Why, that would be almost immoral, and immorality is something our company could never stand for. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to put a positive spin on our Third World child-labor practices."

Diddley is seeking a minimum of $500,000 in punitive damages. Nike has already offered $15,000, a number the company believes is "consistent with the royalty arrangement."

"We hope this case never gets before a judge," Manager added. "If he brings that cool square guitar to court, we're totally screwed."