SMASH TRACKS SELL RECORDS!!! Are we starting to see a trend here?
"Both 3 Doors Down and Papa Roach have real big songs," gurgled the always-enlightening Brant Barry of Portland's Fred Meyer just before he accidentally hit his eye with a forkful of goulash originally destined for his purdy mouth. "It is because of those tracks that Doors is #8 with us and Roach jumps up to #20. Do you really think my mouth is purdy?"
Indeed, the journey of 3 Doors Down's "Kryptonite" from the top of the Rock chart to the top of the Post Modern chart to a smash Pop track has brought MTV, VH1 and The Box to the party.
Meanwhile, Papa Roach's "Last Resort" was a monster Post Modern track that was an MTV "Buzzworthy.com" favorite from the beginning and is now steamrolling its way to the top. Those nutty kids are eating it up.
"Those nutty kids are eating it up," said Barry as he lightly caressed his gerbil. "Have I mentioned how much I really enjoy your new Web site, hitsdailydouble.com?"
With that shameless plug out of the way, we can now move on to this week's Top Five, where Eminem remains firmly on top, more than doubling #2 Britney Spears. Meanwhile, Kid Rock goes 2-3 in its second week on the street, followed by cute boys NSYNC and Kid's Lava labelmates, matchbox twenty.
Next week's chart will include debuts from the likes of Three 6 Mafia, Bon Jovi, Eric Clapton & BB King and the soundtrack to "Shaft Returns."
"Do you really think my mouth is purdy?" queried Barry as he turned up the volume on his favorite eight-track, "Deliverance."
MUSIC'S MOST BEWILDERING NIGHT
Gauchos got what they'd long deserved, 20 years too late. (12/30a)
PHOTO GALLERY: PICS OF THE WEEK OF THE YEAR (PART TWO)
More weasel photo ops (12/30a)
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NOW WHAT?
We have no fucking idea.
COUNTRY'S NEWEST DISRUPTOR
Three chords and some truth you may not be ready for.
AI IS ALREADY EATING YOUR LUNCH
The kids can tell the difference... for now.
WHO'S BUYING THE DRINKS?
That's what we'd like to know.
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