MP3.COM AND XYSTOS MAKE "SWEAT TOPS" SING

No doubt MP3.com is feelin' the burn. While running the obstacle course to make deals with the major record labels, the Music Service Provider has crossed the finish line hand in hand with Xystos, a multimedia network company primed to deliver "sweat top" touch-screen technology to exercise equipment at fitness clubs around the world. So, if you want your MP3, you don't have to be at home or at work—you can mainline your musical fix at your post-millennial "third place," the gym.

"Bringing digital music to the personal fitness experience reinforces the spirit and attitude of that unique vision," said MP3.com's chairman and CEO michael robertson',390,400);">michael robertson',390,400);">Michael Robertson while munching a cheese danish and squeezing off a few reps on a Thighmaster. It also allows MP3 to play MC Big Brother in a Brave New World of targeting, tracking and tagging of brain-addled, bored Webaholics. On the surface it seems innocent enough. How cool is it to have access to a custom-loaded jukebox of your favorite tunes to motivate you to get through the soul-destroying ordeal of monotonous aerobic activity?

Well, here's what you'll be logging onto. The core of the Xystos Media Network is a James Bond-sounding entity called G.U.T.S., an acronym for "Great Ubiquitous Training System." This digital coach/database offers exercise prescriptions while analyzing your performance, weight, body fat, the chemical composition of your perspiration, propensities to bonk and so on. Just imagine the subliminals you might be receiving while spinning to Whitney & Enrique's "Could I Have This…"

The apocalyptic fusion of MP3.com services and Xystos' "sweat top" technology will be on display at the MP3 Summit 2000 in San Diego June 20-21. Vonnegut-esque mind control with a kick-ass rhythm and washboard abs is only a download away.