FORWARD INTO THE PAST

No, we're not talking about Donald Trump's urgent appeal to 1950s housewives. We mean the forthcoming HITS Anniversary Special—our 34th, thank you very much (and we're so sorry). That mighty doorstop will include a deep dive into our capacious and mold-infested photo archive, which chronicles, among countless other wonders, the fashion odyssey of Tom Corson, seen here sporting an ensemble that may induce seizures in some segments of our readership. Tom is pictured, we note, with Bruce Kirkland, John Fagot, Richard Marx, Jeff Blalock and Bruce Reiner.

Of course, the Anni will also include much more—including key moments of a truly sucky year—sandwiched between your thoughtfully conceived advertisements. Consider this notice one of several hearfelt apologies.