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Friday, August 3, 2018

A LOUD STREAMING CHART

Hey, kids! Are you hep to this buzzing new genre known as "rock?" Apparently it features people playing things called "guitars" and "cowbells" and other obscurities. Just for fun, we've totted up the streams for a few key exponents of this fascinating musical demimonde. The groups nowadays have kooky names full of Dragons and Pilots and, um, Queen. Let's crank up some numbers.

 
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HITS LIST BLASTS OFF
Space is the place for Tay. (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
SONG STREAMS: SWIFT SETS STREAMING RECORD
What did you expect? (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
SPRING BREAKOUTS: THESE HEATERS ARE STILL HOT
Who's Boomin who. (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
SONG REVENUE: “SWEET” SMELLS OF SUCCESS
Life after "Church" (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
STAGECOACH: SETS TO SEE AND PLACES TO BE
Saddle up, cowboys and cowgirls. (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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