THROWBACK THURSDAY: ALTERNATIVE HISTORY

The year was 1984, and a fresh-faced A&M Records employee was sitting at her desk in the label's Madison Avenue offices and hoping against hope nobody would come in while she was peacefully enjoying a cassette of Hoodoo Gurus B-sides. Little did Karen Glauber know that her music-biz idyll would be swallowed up by a horrible cloud of cesspool swamp gas when she turned onto the career cul-de-sac known as HITS. But we digress. Happy Birthday to Karen, who was wearing a Menudo watch ironically, and a shirt from the Peter Buck Collection unironically. Happy Bday also to Mark Williams, who hired her for the gig 35 years ago.

WMG Q2 REVENUE UP
NEARLY 7% TO $1.49B
Call it Kyncl culture. (5/10a)
NEAR TRUTHS: INCOMPARABLE
Taylor world is an ecosystem. (5/9a)
HITS LIST: AROUND
THE MAYPOLE
The biz springs into motion. (5/10a)
BEEF BRINGS LAMAR BACK TO SPOTLIGHT
No longer keeping his diss-tance. (5/10a)
TOP 50: TAY'S THREE-PEAT, DUA'S OPTIMISM AND MORE
The most popular POETS in history (5/10a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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