DISPATCH FROM HAMPSHIRE

Lots of whining among the UMG faithful about the dining and other options in Hampshire, where label execs have convened for Sir Lucian’s A&R meetings. The southern English county has been deemed a sushi-free zone by grumbling yanks from both coasts—unless you count a breakfast of kipper with mushy peas served by kindly Mrs. Fletcher at Ye Olde Sheep and Arms. Therefore we offer a few suggestions for cuisine during your stay.

The Greyhound Inn on Broughton High Street: This pub serves “not that spicy” Thai food, which is reportedly good and served quickly.

The Fat Duck on High Street in Bray-on-Thames, Berkshire, is your molecular gastronomy choice. Try the Snail Porridge (pictured), if you dare. Or the Jelly of Quail with Crayfish Cream. Or the ... excuse us for a moment.

The Crown at Bray: Opposite the obscenely expensive Fat Duck is what has been referred to as the best pub grub in Britain. Also run by celeb chef Heston Blumenthal, the chips are crispy and the burgers are spectacular, so we've been told.

For Dim Sum, there’s Kachina in Southampton, hailed by locals as “a nice* buffet.” The Deep Fried Platter sounds like a light option.

The Hawkley Inn on Pococks Lane boasts an enticing beer selection and food that is “more gourmet than expected,” which rather depends on your expectations.

The Emporium on Fleet Road apparently has a nice bar. Says one review: “Food is average but the staff are very nice.”

Wagamama in Basingstoke offers such fare as Chicken Katsu Curry and Noodles. While the quality of the food is not celebrated, it is served quickly.

And now, weather. It’s currently 67 degrees and sunny, so button up that jumper, old sod. Here’s the weekly forecast, which pairs well with copious pints of beer or a great deal of gin.

*Editor's note: The term "nice" in English culinary parlance can generally be taken to mean "not poison." For more U.K. comestibles to avoid, go here and here.