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Thursday, July 30, 2015

STRAIGHT OUTTA SHERMAN OAKS

“Say, Dr. Dre,” asks our own Karen Glauber during this vintage fuck-the-genre-police photo shoot with N.W.A., “what do you think you’ll be doing in the far-off year of 2015?” Given his track record of making confrontational music that terrified the establishment, Dre reasoned that he would be given billions by a tech company and have his band’s story told in a blockbuster Hollywood movie. Karen, meanwhile, expected to be touring the world via jet pack. Stay tuned for mementos of Karen's 25th anniversary at HITS or, as she calls it, "the career cul de sac."

 
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HITS LIST: HORSEPOWER
VRRMMMM (5/17a)
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NEAR TRUTHS: VARIANTS
Celebrity death match underway on album chart (5/17a)
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OH, TANNENBAUM! ANOTHER GREAT CAREER HITS THE SKIDS
Another talented journalist trapped in the career cul de sac (5/17a)
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THE COUNT: LIVE NATION TAPS TYLER, POST, BLINK FOR TOP U.S. FESTS
Cornering the market on surefire headliners (5/17a)
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STAPLETON, WILSON BIG WINNERS AT THE ACMs
A genre mash-up at the home of the Cowboys (5/17a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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