Rube Goldberg Contest Winner

VIRAL VIDEO OF THE DAY: Who cares about the Final Four anyway? The University of Wisconsin-Stout won its second consecutive National Rube Goldberg Machine Contest by building the most Goldbergian way to water a flower. The small polytechnic school with 9,000 students, located in Menomonie, WI, topped such engineering giants as Purdue, Penn State, University of Texas and Texas A&M for the honor. The team consisted of five members, three of them education majors, and one each in applied scence and retail management, with not an engineer in sight. “Our machine is beautifully crafted to depict a neglected, run-down estate in Louisiana named the Westing. On every full moon, the dead rise to continue their daily tasks as if they were never laid to rest., watering the brand-new Venus fly trap in 135 steps.” The event is named after an early 20th century engineer and cartoonist whose whimsical work spoofed modern machinery. Goldberg’s granddaughter attended the event at Purdue, which drew about 2,000 spectators. (4/1p)

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WORK IT OUT
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A breakdown from the boss (5/2a)
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With extra relish (5/3a)
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More butts in seats than ever before. (5/3a)
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A dynamic duo, y'all (5/3a)
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Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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