Add Cohen verdict

SONGS OF LOVE & HATE: The verdict inspired the supremely eloquent Cohen to spin off a series of signature turns of phrase. "It gives me no pleasure to see my onetime friend shackled to a chair in a court of law, her considerable gifts bent to the service of darkness, deceit and revenge," he said. "[But] I want to thank the defendant Ms. Kelley Lynch for insisting on a jury trial, thus exposing to the light of day her massive depletion of my retirement savings and yearly earnings, and allowing the court to observe her profoundly unwholesome, obscene and relentless strategies to escape the consequences of her wrongdoing… It is my prayer that Ms Lynch will take refuge in the wisdom of her religion. That a spirit of understanding will convert her heart from hatred to remorse, from anger to kindness, from the deadly intoxication of revenge to the lowly practices of self-reform." (4/20a)

SPRING BREAKOUTS: THESE HEATERS ARE STILL HOT
Who's Boomin who. (4/25a)
SONG REVENUE: “SWEET” SMELLS OF SUCCESS
Life after "Church" (4/25a)
THE COUNT: ALL THE DESERT'S A STAGE
Jon Wayne is rolling over in his grave. (4/25a)
THE ODDS ON TUCKER WETMORE
Who's gonna get him? (4/25a)
GONE COUNTRY: HOUSE LIPMAN INVESTS IN WESTERN WEAR
The full Monte (4/25a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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