“The new management structure will allow EMI to benefit from Terra Firma’s experience in strategically transforming businesses and driving operational value.”
—-Hands' very first message

HANDS A MAN OF LETTERS

New EMI Chairman Takes to the Pen (and Keyboard) When He’s Got Something To Say
Since Terra Firma’s Guy Hands took control of EMI last August, he has most often communicated his thoughts via e-mails to his troops.

In fact, he’s the most impressive letter-writer since Cyrano de Bergerac.

He’s used those missives to reach out, explain what he’s doing and orchestrate what he promised in his very first communiqué: “The new management structure will allow EMI to benefit from Terra Firma’s experience in strategically transforming businesses and driving operational value.”

Of course, his virally distributed memos have also unnerved many current employees and rubbed some of the creative talent, in other words, label artists and their managers, the wrong way.

In his latest epistle, Hands promises to update everyone next Tuesday (1/15) on “how we will move forward in 2008 to achieve our goals…to become the world’s most innovative and consumer focused music company and best home for musical talent.”

Not to mention spotlight one of the best damn memo writers in the business.

For a full chronological collection of Hands’ handiwork, click here and enjoy EMI’s upcoming Epoque de Belles Lettres. No postage required.

HITS LIST BLASTS OFF
Space is the place for Tay. (4/26a)
SONG STREAMS: SWIFT SETS STREAMING RECORD
What did you expect? (4/26a)
SPRING BREAKOUTS: THESE HEATERS ARE STILL HOT
Who's Boomin who. (4/26a)
SONG REVENUE: “SWEET” SMELLS OF SUCCESS
Life after "Church" (4/26a)
STAGECOACH: SETS TO SEE AND PLACES TO BE
Saddle up, cowboys and cowgirls. (4/26a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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