Shecky’s departure leaves a sizable vacuum at the cesspool (which is badly in need of vacuuming, come to think of it)—so sizable, in fact, that it will take not one but two Senior Editors to even attempt to fill it, the incumbent Jon O’Hara, who has reluctantly agreed to expand his duties, and Bud Scoppa, who just as reluctantly returns after his unceremonious departure in mid-2003. It’s his third tour of duty. “This is a living nightmare,” Scoppa explains. “Urp,” adds O’Hara. “Me editurr purdy werdz, pikchurz make maggazene. Yay.”
Commented Editor in Chief Lenny Beer, “Who are these idiots and why am I paying them?” Calls to Publisher Dennis Lavinthal weren’t immediately returned.
MALONE, WALLEN APPEAR NOT TO NEED "HELP" ACHIEVING MILESTONE
A genre-obliterating collab (5/13a)
RAJ KAPOOR: STACKING THE STARS, MAKING THE ACMs SHINE
Producer putting the finishing touches on Thursday's show. (5/13a)
WHAT'S NOT TO "LIKE?" HUGE STREAMS FOR KING KENDRICK
No longer keeping his diss-tance. (5/13a)
NEW RELEASES: "HELP" ARRIVES, SWIFT EXTENDS STREAK
Post, Morgan and the ever-popular POETS (5/13a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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