THE MYSTERIES OF WANGO TANGO

As always, KIIS-FM/iHeart's annual Wango Tango celebration (at Dignity Health Sports Park in Carson, Calif.) featured performances, schmoozing and photo ops. We'll settle for the latter as there was no way they were letting us anywhere near the place.

"The story of the Tango is well known," explains iHeart programming guru Tom Poleman to Island heartthrob Shawn Mendes. "But the tale of the Wango... remains a mystery." Later, there was a fan activation.

Seen making the international sign for "What publication did you say you were from?" shortly before having security eject us from the building are (l-r) Hollywood’s DJ Ennis, KIIS PD/iHeart luminary Beata, artist Adassa (best known for singing Encanto's unstoppable "We Don't Talk About Bruno") and Hollywood's Scot Finck.

Island/Republic breakout Lauren Spencer-Smith gets a warm embrace from Beata. The singer is too young to remember an era in which hugs were a way for FedEx envelopes to be exchanged during photo ops.

"I'm something of a phenomenon on TikTok myself," said iHeart EVP Alissa Pollack to Gem Street artist Jena Rose, who has amassed a huge audience on the platform. "In fact, my tutorials on making pajamas for kitties have earned more than 11 plays."

Beata cuddles with RCA star Becky G while urging her to avoid any situation that involves a meal with a trade-publication editor. "Watching them eat will put you off food permanently," she recalled with a shudder.

Industry vets Anthony Iovino and Danny Cooper pose with Leilani Shiu, erstwhile promo exec and the first credited Jawa in the Star Wars franchise; she can be seen on Obi-Wan Kenobi. Leilani tried very hard to explain to the gentlemen that she couldn't introduce them to Boba Fett because he's a fictional character. Later, there was a fan activation.

Poleman and Pollack pose for a power photo. No one had the heart to tell them it would just be running on the HITS website. In a related story, Henry the Gerbil enjoyed some nourishing pellets today.

Tinkerbelle the Dog and Belle the Dog, both helpfully named lest you were in doubt as to their species, agree to a rare tandem photo. Fun fact: One of them has a terrible coke problem! (Note from the HITS legal department: The editor who wrote this caption has been given a time-out.)