HENRY THE GERBIL:
AN UPDATE

Those of you accessing our humble website on your mobile devices—we suspect there are a few of you—may have noticed that the site has been functioning, um, less than perfectly in the last few hours. We apologize and wanted to let you know that we're working on the problem.

Not to get all technical on you, but as anyone with a working knowledge of technology understands, the Internet is a series of tubes that are powered by a big spinning wheel made of aluminum. That wheel must be ever turning, turning, turning, kept in motion by the tiny feet of a gerbil army.

Well, our lead gerbil—Henry's his name—developed just an awful charley horse early on the morning of 6/6. We've got our IT staff putting salve on his beleaguered paw, but the little fella just can't run like he normally does, and it's had a serious impact on our load times and other issues that are too technical to talk about.

We're confident that Henry will be back to his usual lightning speed very soon, and we're grateful, as ever, for your patience.

UMG AND TIKTOK
WORK IT OUT
The kerfuffle is in the past. (5/2a)
LUCIAN SOUNDS OFF ON UMG/TIKTOK DEAL
A breakdown from the boss (5/2a)
JAMES KING: THE HITS INTERVIEW (PART ONE)
London calling (5/2a)
TOP 20: IT’S STILL TAYLOR’S WORLD
Large and in charge (5/2a)
THE MUSIC OF CLIVE COMES ALIVE AT CARNEGIE HALL
That's what friends are for. (5/1a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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