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Thursday, October 31, 2019

TRICK OR TREAT, OR WHATEVER THIS IS

We used to be able to enjoy Halloween unironically. It was monsters and ghosts and vampires and candy and pumpkins, untinged by the soul-crushing angst of a reality far scarier than any horror fiction. But here's hoping you can enjoy this yearly spook-a-thon without spending the whole time thinking about our national nightmare. We're dressing up as our younger selves, when we still had hopes for a career.

 
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HITS LIST BLASTS OFF
Space is the place for Tay. (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
SONG STREAMS: SWIFT SETS STREAMING RECORD
What did you expect? (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
SPRING BREAKOUTS: THESE HEATERS ARE STILL HOT
Who's Boomin who. (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
SONG REVENUE: “SWEET” SMELLS OF SUCCESS
Life after "Church" (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
STAGECOACH: SETS TO SEE AND PLACES TO BE
Saddle up, cowboys and cowgirls. (4/26a)
Check It Out Now
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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