HITS LIST: NO FOOLIN’

Chart-topping Jack White is aware of the fact that he looks like Edward Scissorhands. Republic is staffed primarily by Democrats. Tina Tchen knows what FLOTUS stands for. Shawn Mendes knows all the words to “O Canada.” Cindy Mabe can drink Mike Dungan (but not Kacey Musgraves) under the table. Zach Katz is not conversant in German. Archie Davis has never heard of Jughead. Some of these tidbits are factual; however, they’re entirely absent from the annual April’s Fool edition of HITS List. Don’t believe everything you read on Sunday, which is also some sort of religious holiday—or two. We kid you not.

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WMG Q2 REVENUE UP
NEARLY 7% TO $1.49B
Call it Kyncl culture. (5/10a)
NEAR TRUTHS: INCOMPARABLE
Taylor world is an ecosystem. (5/9a)
HITS LIST: AROUND
THE MAYPOLE
The biz springs into motion. (5/10a)
BEEF BRINGS LAMAR BACK TO SPOTLIGHT
No longer keeping his diss-tance. (5/10a)
TOP 50: TAY'S THREE-PEAT, DUA'S OPTIMISM AND MORE
The most popular POETS in history (5/10a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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