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THE OLYMPICS ARE SERIOUSLY DISTURBED

When France's Olympians Vanessa James and Morgan Ciprés free-skated to Disturbed's "Sound of Silence" (Warner Bros.) in Pyeongchang on 2/14, it was a double Valentine: in addition to an impressive couple performance, their turn rocketed the rock band's 2015 Simon & Garfunkel cover from outside the Top 200 to #2 at iTunes, where its sales came remarkably close (per numbers from Kworb.net) to those of top-selling smash "God's Plan" by Drake.

Figure skating also gave Celine Dion her biggest boost since Titanic (which also had a big ice component, you'll recall) with "Ne Me Quitte Pas," a Top 5 responder at Shazam. And two performances by other skaters (USA's Adam Rippon and Alex & Maia Shibutani) powered Coldplay track sales, with "O" making it into the iTunes Top 20.

Unfortunately, all this is bringing back memories of falling on our butts at the rink when we were 11. How they laughed at us. Laughed and laughed and laughed.

NEAR TRUTHS: THE KYNCL-LOUSADA DANCE HAS BEGUN
This oughta be interesting... (9/30a)
GRAMMY CHEW:
RAP EDITION
Michael and Kyle find a feast of hip-hop to chew on. (9/30a)
CHART FINAL: VERANO INVADES FALL
Like a broken record... which it is, figuratively speaking. (9/30a)
HITS LIST: COUNTDOWN
TO ECSTASY
We enter the month that was once known as Rocktober. (9/30a)
HIS OWN ARCHITECT:
THE STEVE LACY BUZZ
It was a surprisingly easy "Habit" to break. (9/30a)
GRAMMY SEASON
New categories! New rules! New WTF!
THE BIG DEAL
It's the one you didn't see coming.
RAID AT MAR-A-LAGO
"Who took my passports?"
HITS' 36TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL
Allow us to apologize in advance.
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