STAR GAZING

Capitol superstar Katy Perry is flanked by label boss Steve Barnett and UMG topper Sir Lucian Grainge during the star dedication on Hollywood's Walk of Fame on 11/15, which was declared "Capitol Records Day" by the city. "Oh, shit, the HITS people are coming over," muttered Perry. "Quick, we can hide in my jet."

HITS LIST BLASTS OFF
Space is the place for Tay. (4/30a)
TAY RACKS UP STATS, OBLITERATES RECORDS
What did you expect? (4/30a)
STAGECOACH: THE FINAL DESERT EXCURSION
Our weary travelers reflect on their adventure. (4/30a)
BILLIE'S BACK WITH BIG WORLD TOUR
Promises to be a Hard ticket to score. (4/30a)
HIPGNOSIS BOARD APPROVES UPPED BLACKSTONE BID
But it ain't over till it's over. (4/29a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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