For the edification of you Yanks in the U.K. for UMG’s A&R confab this week—not to mention the stay-at-home folks who are wondering where their colleagues went—we offer a few useless facts about Hampshire, England. Some members of our crack editorial team, having run out of crack and turned to huffing shoe polish, mistakenly believed that Hampshire was in London rather than the south coast of Blighty; then again, they also thought “Brexit” was something on the bargain menu at Denny’s.
Fortunately, our astute U.K. office head, Rhian Jones, corrected the geographically challenged colonists—who were directed to a place called "Wikipedia” and were surprised to learn that the Internet could be used for subjects beyond esoteric porn. Here are some things they copied and pasted:
In our next installment, we’ll use GPS technology to find our own asses.
LIVE NATION POSTS (ANOTHER) RECORD QUARTER
More butts in seats than ever before. (5/3a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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