APPLE COBBLER

What’s up with Apple? Well, you know, a few things. The company has upped Jeff Williams, the global-supply-chain whisperer, to COO. Williams, exalted for his ops chops and a guy who knows how to work the building, could be the top heir to Tim Cook’s throne. He also helped spearhead the drive for the Apple Watch.

Meanwhile, SVP Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller adds the App Store to his purview, presumably freeing up President of Internet Software and Services Eddy Cue to focus more on music.

Speaking of the latter, the digerati (aka the Digital Illuminati) believe Apple could catch Spotify in streaming-service subscriptions sometime next year. Apple will close the year with 8m subscribers, and looks on track to double that and close in on Spotify’s 20m+, God willin’ and the crick don’t rise. This of course depends on more aggressive marketing of the service to consumers, most of whom still don’t know that practically every goddamn song in the universe is already on their goddamn iPhones, and all they have to do is tell Siri what to cue up next. Looks like The Beatles will join the fray by the time Santa rolls up, so that can’t hurt.

Apple stock took a nosedive today, dropping 2.71% to $106.03 based on forecasts that sales of iPhones could plummet from “obscene” to merely “mind-boggling.” Cupertino is expected to ramp up device sales in China, but any decline in the unsustainably enormous U.S. market is bound to put a dent in the ridiculous stock bubble. Hardly seems like grounds for panic, despite whatever breathless headlines you may see.

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WHO'S BUYING THE DRINKS?
That's what we'd like to know.
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