SAY IT AIN'T SO, JON

In a development that makes us truly sad, being kindred spirits of mocking mayhem, comic genius Jon Stewart announced during Tuesday's taping of The Daily Show that he would be retiring from the program after 16 years.

Comedy Central President Michele Ganeless issued a statement that gave no specifics about the timing of Stewart's departure but heralded his many achievements. "Through his unique voice and vision," he noted, "The Daily Show has become a cultural touchstone for millions of fans and an unparalleled platform for political comedy that will endure for years to come."

Stewart's news had everybody catching feelings on Twitter, including theose same media outlets that were the frequent targets of his skewering monologues.

Many on social media whined that the on-air loss of both Stephen Colbert and Stewart in the space of less than a year is almost too much to bear, with some melodramatic fans comparing the exits to a long-married couple who die within months of each other, and others reminding us all that Jon Stewart is in fact, not dead.

That chatter quickly shifted to speculation about who should host the show next—a succession process that the notoriously control-freak Stewart will no doubt have a strong hand in, considering his track record with mentoring and launching the careers of other former correspondents turned comedic stars in their own right including Colbert, Steve Carell, Ed Helms, Rob Corddry and John Oliver.

But all told, we wish this was indeed fake news, because it f**king sucks.