YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP

The Hidden Depth of Grammy Goodie Bags
The Healing Saint™ product line will be included in the Official Backstage Talent Gift Lounge and Gift Bags at the Grammy Awards®. The products included in the Grammy bag include the Healing Saint™ Medicated Scalp Serum, which stimulates growth as well as reducing and preventing further hair loss; and the Healing Saint™ Luminosity Skin Serum, which gently and effectively stimulates healing and increases luminosity without unpleasant redness, dryness or photosensitivity.
These revolutionary products were developed by Dr. Jane Cases, a leading southern Ohio endocrinologist (it says here), who’ll be present in the backstage talent Gift Lounge providing full metabolic and nutritional consultations to presenters, performers, producers and executives. The total value of each celebrity’s gift, including the private consultation, is valued at more than $1,200.
HITS LIST: HORSEPOWER
VRRMMMM (5/17a)
NEAR TRUTHS: VARIANTS
Celebrity death match underway on album chart (5/17a)
OH, TANNENBAUM! ANOTHER GREAT CAREER HITS THE SKIDS
Another talented journalist trapped in the career cul de sac (5/17a)
THE COUNT: LIVE NATION TAPS TYLER, POST, BLINK FOR TOP U.S. FESTS
Cornering the market on surefire headliners (5/17a)
STAPLETON, WILSON BIG WINNERS AT THE ACMs
A genre mash-up at the home of the Cowboys (5/17a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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