April Fool's

EMI SAVED BY UNEXPECTED BENEFACTOR: Contrary to reports spreading around the web this morning, EMI has not been acquired by Apple. This is merely an April Fool's joke. The British company has in fact been sold to United Arab Emirates-based Abu Dhabi Media Company, already a major investor in Vevo. "This acquisition reinforces Abu Dhabi Media Company’s commitment to establish a leading position in the music industry,” said company head Al Mazroui. “It is part of an integrated approach to expanding the global presence and brand portfolio of Abu Dhabi Media Company—plus Guy Hands promised me a big kiss from Katy Perry." Once the deal clears regulatory, EMI will move its headquarters from London to Dubai. Additionally, the Capitol Tower will become a mosque. (4/1a)