DEUTSCH MARKED: Hallo! I am BMG Publishing's Hartwig Masuch, und I enjoy very much ze impish humor of HITS, und zo I vould like to be included in ze nutty hijinks! Here iss mein picture, vhich I zink you vill find very amusing. Maybe you can put a joint in my mouth for the Anniverzary issue or zumthing. I hear it vill be hilarious! UMPG getz all ze attention, but ve like to party at BMG too! Feel free to mizpronounze mein name, giff me a ridiculous, ztereotypical accent, und make jokes about shtuff zat happened years before I vas born! I don't mind! I sink you guys are a scream! But vy are you backing avay from me? (8/13p)
PRE-GRAMMY GALA GOES GAGA FOR GERSON
Jody will be the center of attention at Clive's shindig. (12/18a)
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NOW WHAT?
We have no fucking idea.
COUNTRY'S NEWEST DISRUPTOR
Three chords and some truth you may not be ready for.
AI IS ALREADY EATING YOUR LUNCH
The kids can tell the difference... for now.
WHO'S BUYING THE DRINKS?
That's what we'd like to know.
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