“Just when I think I’m out, they pull me back in,” said Trakin, as he sat at his creaky old chair, fired up his ancient computer and pushed aside the chicken bones he’d left on his desk in early 2005. “Hey, can I get in on the lunch order? I’ll have the linguini and clams.”
Trakin then searched his desk drawers hoping to find some seeds and stems from years gone by before bending over and assuming the position.
Commented Editurr in Chief Lenny Beer, “Didn’t we get rid of him again last year, and how much is he paying me now that he’s back?” Publisher Dennis Lavinthal remained on vacation and was unavailable for comment.
Trakin joined HITS in 1986, leaving for a year in 1989, although no one noticed he was gone. He spent 2005 attempting to sell Betamax copies of Tommy Lee’s sex tapes on eBay.
![]() Record-breaking heat wave in the forecast. (9/6a)
![]() This oughta be interesting. (9/6a)
![]() We're putting our asses in seats. (9/4a)
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THE GRAMMY SHORT LIST
Who's already a lock?
COUNTRY'S NEWEST DISRUPTOR
Three chords and some truth you may not be ready for.
AI IS ALREADY EATING YOUR LUNCH
The kids can tell the difference... for now.
ALL THE WAY LIVE
The players, the tours, the enormous beers.
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