“Just when I think I’m out, they pull me back in,” said Trakin, as he sat at his creaky old chair, fired up his ancient computer and pushed aside the chicken bones he’d left on his desk in early 2005. “Hey, can I get in on the lunch order? I’ll have the linguini and clams.”
Trakin then searched his desk drawers hoping to find some seeds and stems from years gone by before bending over and assuming the position.
Commented Editurr in Chief Lenny Beer, “Didn’t we get rid of him again last year, and how much is he paying me now that he’s back?” Publisher Dennis Lavinthal remained on vacation and was unavailable for comment.
Trakin joined HITS in 1986, leaving for a year in 1989, although no one noticed he was gone. He spent 2005 attempting to sell Betamax copies of Tommy Lee’s sex tapes on eBay.
TOP 50: TAY'S THREE-PEAT, DUA'S OPTIMISM AND MORE
The most popular POETS in history (5/10a)
| ||
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
|