Some conspiracy theorists postulated Rupert’s right-leaning rag purposely ran with the error not only to fuck with the Dems, but to guarantee a sell-out on the newsstand.


See Some Art, Catch a Flick, Hear Some Opera, Eat Some Sushi, Visit a Corner Bistro and Flic a Bic for Velvet Revolver
Got the post-fireworks blues? Light up, enjoy smooth jazz, visit the Happiest Place on earth. Did we say "happiest?’ We meant, most crowded. Check out some phat Caribbean tunes at the Queen Mary. No we didn’t call you fat, nor did we call you gay. Lighten up, homies. No, we didn’t just call you gay again.

Friday, July 9
Squad Five-0 at the Troubadour
(Doors open 8 p.m.)
If you missed them at Warped Tour, here’s another chance to catch these southern rockers. All the cool kids will be there. Hit up their new record Late News Breaking (Capitol) fresh on the shelves.

 Friday Night Jazz Series (5:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m.)
Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA)  (5905 Wilshire Blvd., 323-857-6000)
It’s the 12th season, so you know it’s solid. Leave work early, light up a bowl and enjoy. They’ve got a bar & food. With all this hype, you’d think we were getting paid for these advertisements. We’re barely getting paid to begin with.

Los Angeles Opera: A Little Night Music (7/9 at 8 p.m., 7/10 at 7 p.m. and 7/11 at 2 p.m. at Dorothy Chandler Pavilion) Starring: Victor Garber and Judith Ivey (Jill played her daughter in a movie a few years back, but she won’t give up the details)

Goth Ball (8 p.m.)
Key Club (9039 Sunset Blvd., 310-274-5800)
If you’re into the Goth thing, this is your playground. Although, with all the make-up Goths wear, it isn’t like people will actually notice you. Unless you go sans make-up. Then you’re likely to get your ass kicked.

Hip Hop Fridays (9 p.m.-2 a.m.) (1721 S Manchester Ave, Anaheim, 714-956-1410)
All you hip-hop heads; this is the place to be. If you plan it right, you can hit this Friday night, crash in Anaheim and cruise on over to Disneyland the next morning, once your hangover subsides.

Saturday, July 10
You’ve woken up in Anaheim?? Yuck! What are you gonna do??? We’re goin’ to Disneyland! Check out the Electrical Light Parade (buzz required), Fantasmic and the new Tower of Terror. Warning, the happiest place on earth can be a pain in the ass in the summer, so get there early and expect to be there the whole day. Invite our Je-c, because he loves Disneyland, the big kid.

Gunther von Hagens’ Body Worlds: The Anatomical Exhibition of Real Human Bodies (The California Science Center, 213 744-7540)
The idea of this exhibit freaks us out completely, and therefore we must encourage you to go ASAP. Through Plastination, this guy is able to display over 200 real human specimens so that we can discover the mysteries under the human skin. This ain’t microdermabrasion, dudes. Exhibit runs thru Jan. ’05.

Catch up on flicks you haven’t seen yet. Here are some we recommend:
Saved!, Fahrenheit 9/11, Napoleon Dynamite, Super-Size Me, The Stepford Wives, The Terminal, Spider-Man 2.

Geoffrey’s in Malibu (27400 Pacific Coast Hwy, Malibu, 310-457-1519)
Awesome restaurant that sits on the Pacific Ocean. Notorious for marriage proposals. For us, not so much. We sit there, staring at the ocean and the happy couples … and feel bad about ourselves.

Cin(e)space Cinema, Restaurant, Lounge (6356 Hollywood Blvd., reservation: 323-817-FILM)
Wizard of Oz (dinner and a movie) Anyone read The Real Road To Oz? Or, are we the only freaks who try to find all of the drug references in the movie?

Sing-A-Long Sound Of Music (Hollywood Bowl, 213-480-3232)
You can join in on the costume parade, or just sing along to a newly restored print of the flick! Pre-show: 6 p.m., Movie starts 8 p.m. Tickets available at Bowl box office or Ticketmaster.

The Rinse at Zen Sushi
Sushi and killer live music… Does it get any better than this? Come check out these NYC rockers (with English front man) this Saturday and grab some sushi while you’re at it. Naturally, all the cool kids will be there.

Sunday 7/11
See Anchorman! Will Ferrell
. Will Ferrell. Will Ferrell. Nurse your hangover with some humor.

Caribbean Sea Breeze Festival (1126 Queens Hwy, Long Beach 562-435-3511)
(12 p.m.-10 p.m.): Features tons of artists, KXLU 88.9FM, KPFK 90.7FM and Indie 103.1FM. Light up a doobie, Jamaica Mon.

Corner Bistro (331 W. 4th St., NYC)
In En Why See? Craving a kick-ass burger? Head down to the West Village. Corner Bistro’s are the best. Silly vegetarians.

McSorley’s Old Ale House (15 E. 7th St. NYC)
Cross back over to the East Village to this dive bar that’s been around since 1854. No beer here, just their own ale. Light or dark. This is the pub that didn’t allow women in until 1970 when they were forced to by court order. We know that should piss us off, but we kinda dig it.

1. XM Radio: They said people wouldn’t pay for television or water, either, so tell that to HBO and Evian. I’m not yet a proselytizer like some, but since buying a receiver and subscription for my wife, who kept bitterly complaining there was nothing on the radio during her five-six hours a day schlepping the kids around, and then adding the home unit, it’s proven to be a worthwhile investment. Once every new car rolling off the assembly line is equipped with satellite radio, then we might see a sea change… Until then, terrestrial radio should note the best thing about XM is the scrolling titles that let you know what every song is. That alone could revolutionize the broadcast industry. (Roy Trakin)

2. Velvet Revolver, Contraband (RCA Records): Yeah, I get it, I get it. It’s not that this isn’t major league arena-rock… There’s nothing wrong with Slash’s patented guitar pyrotechnics nor the bottom-heavy rhythm section of Duff McKagan and Matt Sorum, which gives the music its Guns N’ Roses bolts of four-on-the-floor energy. The problem is with the material—the sludged-up songs tend to run together indistinguishably—and the fact Scott Weiland’s vocals are more suited to the monochromatic rant of punk than they are to the highs and lows of heavy metal that Axl Rose’s multi-octave yelp once navigated so well. But for old-fashioned, gut-bucket, metal-crossed-with-punk, swaggering "Spinal Tap" rock, you could do a lot worse. (RT)

3. Cover Songs: Toby Lightman is taking a tip from pop stars who have gone before. She added a cover of Mary J. Blige’s 1992 hit, "Real Love," to her new album and will release the R&B staple as her next single, which follows up the bluesy hit, "Devils and Angels." Other cover songs heating up the airwaves include Jessica Simpson’s latest, a cover of Robbie Williams’ "Angels," and Hilary and Haylie Duff’s version of the Go-Go’s "Our Lips Are Sealed." Even newcomer JoJo is getting in the retro swing with a take on SWV’s "Weak" on her debut. Expect to hear "Real Love" soon… "I’m searching for a real love/Someone to set my heart free." (Valerie Nome)

4. Angela Ardis & Tupac Shakur, Inside a Thug’s Heart (Dafina Books): Imagine feeling an affinity to a star in trouble, dashing off a letter of support and finding yourself waist-deep in a correspondence that would open up both your world and that of the famous person. It seems the stuff of a streetwise Danielle Steele novel, but for Atlanta’s Angela Ardis, it was an unfolding friendship that was as soul-baring as it was morale-building. With the erotic bent that only a man deprived can lean towards, the letters, poems, calls and moments—told from the young lady’s perspective—offers a tender, sensual portrait of a man who was one of the OGs. A summer beach read of a whole different color. (Holly Gleason)

5. Cheo Hodari Coker, Unbelievable: The Life, Death and Afterlife of the Notorious B.I.G. (Three Rivers Press): This well-researched, Vibe-endorsed bio traces Biggie’s protected childhood with his loving single mom in Brooklyn through his drug-dealing days and rise as one of gangsta rap’s major stars up to his murder in 1997. The former L.A. Times scribe weaves the man’s musical connections in with the history, and recounts those mid-'90s East Coast-West Coast rap rivalries which seem so long ago. There’s a bit of hagiography about the tale—while Christopher Wallace isn’t exactly portrayed as a saint, all seems to be forgiven because of his enormous talent. The feeling, as with the Jim Morrison biography, No One Here Gets Out Alive, is of a tragic loss that, as much as it was seemingly predetermined, didn’t have to happen. (RT)

6. Baha Fishing Report: Summer is here and so are the fish! Northern Baja California is reporting wide-open Albacore bite this week from the inner banks around the 238, as far out as the 1010 trench and as far north as the 390. Capitan Juan on Mardiosa of We Hook Em Sportfishing is reporting limits of Albies in the 25-45 lb. range. Meanwhile, the Yellowtail bite on the floating kelp patties, both offshore and around Todos Santos and the Coronado Islands, is providing a lot of action on the bait sticks. And if that isn’t enough, the White Sea bass are hitting now just 10-15 miles north of Ensenada and the Hotel Coral and Marina  at Las Salinas, with the biggest croaker landed in the mid-20lb range, although many bigger fish were farmed before hitting the deck (Ed Note: Yeah, sure Juan.) Meanwhile, around Cabo San Lucas, Roosterfish is what everyone is targeting, with the best action just north of the cabo on the Pacific side. (Todd Hensley)

7. N.Y. Post: Rather than shrink from its whopper of a front cover goof on Kerry’s running mate being Richard Gephardt, the tabloid instead decided to make fun of itself the following day. Some conspiracy theorists postulated Rupert’s right-leaning rag purposely ran with the error not only to fuck with the Dems, but to guarantee a sell-out on the newsstand. Subsequently, some 2,000 copies turned up on eBay, selling for about $10 apiece, which, after subtracting the website’s fees, probably leaves you with about a $4 profit. Ahhhh, the joys of capitalism. (RT)

8. Cisco, 7740 Valmont Street (Little Dog Records): This San Joaquin native may look like Johnny Thunders, but his collaboration with Grammy-winning Dwight Yoakam producer and ex-bandmate Pete Anderson comes off more like the many faces of Bob Dylan. There's the clear-eyed narrative and plaintive harmonica of Blood on the Tracks (the title track), the laid-back country of Nashville Skyline ("Something's Going Wrong") and the homespun warmth of The Basement Tapes ("Dog Eared Memories"). Elsewhere, Cisco croons effortlessly over The Band-like gurgling Hammond organ and churning guitars of "Lost Broke or Sold"; tackles the Bakersfield twang of fellow Central Californian Buck Owens on "The Other Side" and spins the hybrid country-folk-rock of Tom Petty-through-the Eagles-by-way-of Buddy Holly in "I'm Yours." Anderson’s overlapping, intricate layers of guitar, banjo, mandolin and lap steel reach their apogee in the 10-minute finale, "Long Hard Ride," an autobiographical tale which evokes a life fully lived, an exhilarating trip that takes off from human experience to touch on the ineffable. (RT)

9. Ambulance LTD (TVT Records): Want a quick fix to your painful musical addiction? You need to check out Ambulance LTD's seriously brilliant self-titled debut. Tapped by indie rockers Placebo and U.K. vets Suede for support slots prior to even signing a record deal, the New Yorkers' bow is stunningly infectious, obscurely melodic and beautiful, light years away from the current stale world of phony, fake pop that dominates today's charts. Keep it real, don’t ask for a promo… Go buy it! Support the arts; it's not that often goods like this come around. (J-Shotsi)

10. Jeopardy: Not that I’m a big fan of this hardy perennial game show, but even I’ve gotten caught up in the exploits of one Ken Jennings, a jar-eared, grinning Mormon from Salt Lake City who, as of Wednesday night, had won 26 consecutive games and amassed $828, 960 in winnings. An avowed geek and computer programmer, who claimed he studied on the Internet to prepare for his appearance, Jennings shows a remarkable ability to answer questions from a mind-bogglingly broad range of categories. He is equally at home blurting out "Who is Eminem?" as he is putting the name of an obscure Hawaiian volcano in the form of a question. He runs the board at breakneck speed, mowing down his competitors like, well, "What did Germany do to France in World War II?" I half-expect to see Alex Trebek running into the ring to halt the proceedings like a boxing referee stopping a bloody mismatch. Jennings’ expertise is all the more demoralizing when you realize the dude’s donating a 10% tithe to the church. All we can say is, "What’s one more sign of the coming apocalypse, Alex?" (RT)

King Arthur (Touchstone Pictures)
Jerry Bruckheimer does Camelot, down and dirty stylee.
Stars: Clive Owen, Stephane Dillane, Keira Knightley, Stellan Skarsgaard, Ray Winstone
Director: Antoine Fuqua
(Training Day, The Replacement Killers, Tears of the Sun)
Thumbs Up: Good cast, talented director working on mythic tale that has been done many times before.
Thumbs Down: Advance word is that this take on a classic tale adds nothing new.
Soundtrack: Hollywood Records album includes Hans Zimmer score.
Website: www.KingArthur.Movies.com

Anchorman (DreamWorks Pictures)
The story of a blow-dryed, buffoonish ‘70s San Diego TV anchorman whose world his turned upside-down when an ambitious female newscaster sets her sights on his gig.
Stars: Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, Chuck D, Chris Parnell, Stephen Root, Paul Rudd, Maya Rudolph, Vince Vaughn, Fred Willard, Chad Everett, cameos by Jack Black, Tim Robbins, Ben Stiller
Former SNL short film director Adam McKay in feature debut.
Thumbs Up: Is there anyone hotter in comedy than Ferrell, the current Jim Carrey of physical slapstick.
Thumbs Down: Yet another SNL sketch movie stretched out to 90 minutes.
Soundtrack: Universal Records album includes vintage tracks from Blues Image, Jonathan Edwards, Cornelius Brothers & Sister Rose, Gene Chandler, Kansas, The Friends of Distinction, Tom Jones, Isley Brothers, Hall & Oates, Bill Withers, Neil Diamond and Ferrell covering "Afternoon Delight"
Website: www.anchorman-themovie.com

Sleepover (MGM)
Four teenage girls have a slumber party in the summer after 8th grade, where they end up competing against a group of the "popular" crowd in an all-night scavenger hunt that sends them into the city for wacky adventures.
Stars: Spy KidsAlexa Vega and Curb Your Enthusiasm’s Jeff Garlin
Director: Joe Nussbaum
(feature debut for director best-known for his 1999 short film, George Lucas in Love)
Thumbs Up: Distaff version of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off has young, fresh cast and a director with a touch for parody.
Thumbs Down: Even a good teen movie is Just Another Teen Movie.
Soundtrack: Buena Vista Records album includes Jump 5, Hope 7, Sugababes, Allister, Verbalicioius and Spice Girls

Former Island chief gets his own label. (6/16a)
How'd they do that? (6/15a)
We're reading the tea leaves. (6/15a)
"Variant" is a scary word right now. (6/15a)
Is there a lawyer in the house? (6/15a)
The musical tapestry we know as R&B.
Predicting the next big catalog deal.
Once we all get vaccinated, how long before we can party?
How is globalization bringing far-flung territories into the musical mainstream?

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