POST-TOASTED: THE SCIENCE OF SELLING YOURSELF SHORT

According to Greek mythology (the “reality television” of its day), Sisyphus was the founder of Corinth, banished to the underworld for his chosen profession (highwayman). His passion for life, hatred of death and distrust of the gods resulted in the eternal punishment of pushing a boulder up a steep hill, only to have it tumble back down when he reaches the apex. Then the whole process is repeated, so that his penalty for being, well, entrepreneurial (robbing travelers was a relatively new business back then) is the absurd fate of perpetual effort accomplishing nothing. I’m having one of those weeks…. I need the curative powers of rock (and a shitload of Midol) to lift me from my annual pre-birthday malaise. Sometimes all it takes is a couple of familiar power chords (The Raspberries’ “Go All the Way”) or a phenomenal drumbeat to elevate the spirit. The main reason I begged Geordie to lend me his drum kit a few years ago was so I could learn to play Iggy Pop’s “Lust for Life.” No Neil Peart fantasies—for me, there’s no better drum part than Hunt Sales’ intro to the song. The other day, I thought I heard those well-known beats behind me. I looked in the reflection of the framed Neil Diamond album cover directly in front of me to see if the Carnival Cruise Line commercial (truly one of the most subversive uses of music in the history of advertising) was on MTV2. Or maybe it was the sound of my head banging on the desk after another futile conversation. I yelled, “What’s that song?” Then Erika answered over my left shoulder, “It’s that Jet record you were listening to yesterday.” Oh. Right. I knew I recognized it. You know what? After asking Erika to play “Are You Gonna Be My Girl?” again (and again and again), I was in an infinitely better mood. I felt EMPOWERED, in fact. Ready to face the next challenge. Isn’t that what it’s all about?… It’s “Fall” in July, as Epic’s new Fuel single, “Falls on Me,” narrowly edged out the new Rancid single, “Fall Back Down,” as #1 Most Added at PoMo. Jacqueline, J.J. and Margie eventually sprung ahead with more than 50 adds, including WHFS, Q101, WXDX, KDGE, KTBZ, WZZN, WBRU, CIMX, WRZX, KMYZ and many more. The Warner Bros. gang went into the “official” impact week with more than two dozen Rancid adds already in, yet still managed to reel in another 30 adds, including WOCL, KNRK, WXDX, WARQ, WXNR and others. In honor of my friends’ collective promotional prowess, I’m listening to the collected works of Mark E. Smith… Our pals at Capitol extended yesterday’s celebration of their #1 with Jane’s Addiction’s “Just Because” by being #3 Most Added with Yellowcard’s “Way Away,” including KTBZ, KEDJ, KFMA, KRZQ, WDYL, WBRU, X-96, WARQ and others. I better send Ted Volk more Graeter’s ice cream to sustain this level of achievement!… Our favorite emo kids, Brand New, are making a joyful noise at PoMo with “The Quiet Things No One Ever Knows.” Jeff Appleton at Razor & Tie is leading the charge, which resulted in adds this week at WBCN, WEDG, KEDJ, WBUZ, WZNE, WMRQ, KUCD and WJSE! How cool is that?… Our favorite Virgins (Steve, Howard and Jenni) won’t “Stop” until every PoMo station falls in love with B.R.M.C. New adds this week at WZTA, WWDX, WKRL, KRZQ, KHRO, KMBY and KLEC bode well for format domination…. Laura Curtin, Dave Lombardi and Shannah Miller from Arista had another spectacular week on Adema’s “Unstable,” including KTBZ, WXDX, WXNR, WMRQ, KTZO and WAVF. This song is quickly becoming a programmer’s secret weapon, according to those spinning the record more than you… Another rock song that’s raising its hand and screaming “HIT!” is “(I Hate) Everything About You” by Three Days Grace. Jive goddess Lorraine Caruso lured new adds this week from KROX, WEDG and KQXR. The band is currently on tour with Trapt. I will be 42 in two weeks; Lenac or Erika will attend as my proxy… If I hadn’t been working last night, I would’ve been at the Viper Room to see The Sounds (my friend works at the club and lets me hide in the shadows, so I won’t scare away the other patrons). Erika has been talking about little else all week, which must’ve had an affect on her pal, WBUZ PD Russ Schenck, since he just added “Seven Days a Week”! Russ also added Kings of Leon’s “Molly’s Chambers” this week, one of our other favorite “buzz” records (as is fitting for a station called “The Buzz”)… Last week, everybody was talking about the Atlantic gang’s (Ron, Bonnie and Kris) #1 Most Added victory for Billy Talent’s “Try Honesty.” Unwilling to rest on those laurels, Ron & Co. impressed us again with new adds from KTBZ, WBCN, WEND, KROX, WEDG, KMBY and KSYR… SONG TO HEAR: Travis’ “Re Offender” (they’re back!)… PEOPLE TO WATCH: Mary Shuminas, Darren Eggleston, Gary Spivack, Lisa Cristiano, Todd Sievers, Lisa Worden, John Moschitta, Tommy Mattern (KPNT rose 4.0-4.6 this book!), Sherri Trahan, Max Tolkoff, Eric Baker, Bob Waugh and Steven Strick.