MTV’S GANG OF FOUR UPPED

A quartet top programming execs have either earned their Executive VP stripes or assumed additional responsibilities without having Johnny Knoxville shoot them with a taser gun.

They are being rewarded for the channel’s unprecedented success as the top-rated cable network for the 12-24-year-old demo. MTV/VH1 President Entertainment Brian Graden took a moment from scouring David and Liza’s oven to make the announcement.

Tom Calderone "Wasn’t Built in a Day" is promoted to Executive Vice President Music & Talent Programming for MTV/MTV2. He will continue to oversee the Music & Talent Programming group and staple Steve-O’s gonads to his leg.

Lois Curren "Affair" is upped to Executive Vice President Series and Movie Development for MTV. She will oversee the Original Movies for Television division with VP Original Movies Maggie Maline, who will report to her. Among her duties is using Billboard to housebreak the Osbournes’ dogs.

John "Don’t Call Me Mrs." Miller is boosted to Executive Vice President Series and Animation for MTV, where he will oversee the creation of new original long-form programs for the channel, while taking on the additional responsibility of MTV’s Animation division with VP Animation Marian Davis. He is the proud owner of the cyst removed from Tom Green’s testicles.

Dave Sirulnick now assumes additional programming duties as Executive Vice President of News and Production, taking on a larger role, including content integration for MTV.com, MTV and MTV2 and tweezing Kurt Loder’s arched eyebrows.

Said Graden: "These programming architects will work to redefine and recreate MTV on a daily basis. From music to reality to news, they have produced some of the most culturally relevant hits on television. I look forward to continuing to work with them to deliver even more innovative content for our audience, including the upcoming variety show, Steve-O’s Believe it or Ouch."

Added MTV/MTV2 President Van Toffler: "This team truly leads by example, fostering a belief in constant invention and creativity. Their collective vision has helped produce programming that has hugely connected with our audience, resulting in an unparalleled number of hits and record ratings for MTV. Still, not one of them is included in Esquire ‘s list of America’s ‘Best and Brightest.’"