COMCAST IN BID FOR
AT&T, UNIVERSE

"Why Not? People Already Hate Our Guts," Would-Be Cable Consolidator Says
In a bold, unsolicited bid, Comcast has offered to buy AT&T's cable holdings, called AT&T Broadband, for a reported $58 billion in stock. Such a transaction would give #3 cable operator Comcast control of #1 AT&T's lines, meaning the combined entity would serve more than one of every five viewing households in the U.S.

The move would put a hugely dominant 800-pound gorilla on the cable landscape, and that fact may have already put Comcast on the radar of radio/outdoor advertising/concert promotion and presentation behemoth Clear Channel, which is said to be eager to absorb the cable TV and Internet access businesses now that it has conquered radio and live concerts, with the telecommunications, electrical generation and life-force sectors soon to follow.

FCC chairman Michael Powell has spoken out about the need to re-evaluate ownership restrictions on media and communications properties, and is said to be ready to see a single corporate entity consolidate the universe and rule from a position of strength.

As a concession to federal trade regulators, who will certainly scrutinize any such transaction in detail, Comcast is said to have promised that once it inserts mind-control data into its cable systems' bitstreams and creates a world of pliable zombies, it will use its absolute power only for "good."

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