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THERE’S GOT TO BE
A MORNING AFTER

All Mentions Of Bush, Gore Will Have More To Do With Sex, Violence

ALL HE NEEDS NOW IS BODY ARMOR AND AN ESCAPE FROM REHAB
He may not be as colorful as Ol' Dirty Bastard, but Wu-Tang Clan founder RZA is facing some legal problems of his own. The rapper has been slapped with a breach of contract and copyright infringement suit by music mogul Richard Branson. The suit, which also names Sony Music Entertainment, Artisan Pictures and Wu Tang Productions as co-defendants, claims the rapper is signed exclusively to Branson's V2 label. V2 wants Sony to stop selling RZA's CD, "The RZA Hits," and for Artisan to pull copies of the film "Ghostdog: The Way of the Samurai," which features two RZA tracks. "His bitch ass is mine, " said Branson, who filed the suit under his Wu Name, Gorky's Zygotic Glove Puppet.

LIVIN' LA VIDA LOCAL
Latin crossover sensation Ricky Martin is gearing up for his first-ever club gig in the Big Apple. Around 800 lucky fans will crowd into NY's Irving Plaza to see the former Menudo member shake his bon-bon. Tickets are not available to the public, only to fan club and radio-station contests winners. Incidentally, Martin will be billed under his Wu-Tang name, Radiophonic Oddity.

PIANO MAN II: THE QUICKENING
Billy Joel
is coming out of retirement. The Piano Man, who claimed he would stop touring to compose classical music, is hitting the road for another tour with Elton John. Sources told New York Daily News the ivory ticklers are putting together a tour that will start in February on the West Coast. Just two years ago, Joel was quoted as saying: "I just don't want to do long tours, the kind that go on for months...I've been playing rock 'n' roll for 30 years. It's time to move on musically and challenge myself as an artist." Joel's camp allowed that the tour is still "in the discussion stage and a schedule is in the works." John's camp was busy clamoring for Ricky Martin tickets and could not be reached for comment.

KING OF THE WB?
Musical deities Elvis Costello and T-Bone Burnett are reportedly collaborating on a new TV show for the WB. According to Reuters, the duo is creating an hour-long comedy-drama about a group of female models who form a rock band. The yet-untitled series is targeted to launch fall 2001. Said Costello: "It's about some beautiful girls who play rock 'n' roll songs and have a ball spending someone else's money. How can we lose? ... They go into outer space, they rescue people from dastardly dictators—and they play songs." Costello, who did not grow up with Hanna-Barbera Saturday morning cartoons, was immediately FedEx'd copies of "Josie And The Pussycats In Outer Space."

OR IF YOU PREFER… THE OTHER ELVIS
Elvis Presley's
U.S. Army jacket is going on the auction block in London Wednesday (11/8). The coat was worn by Presley only once, upon his arrival in Germany in 1958.The Bonhams & Brooks auction house says the jacket is distinctively the King's because it shows paint damage. At a press conference to mark his arrival for military service, Presley leaned against a freshly painted window frame, covering his arm. He was given a new coat and one of the painting crew kept the original as a souvenir—along with a bottle of sleeping pills, a handgun and a half-eaten peanut butter-and-nanner sandwich.

THE SET LIST REMAINS THE SAME
Led Zeppelin vocalist Robert Plant is planning to take his cover band, Priority Of Brion, on the road. The tour starts Nov. 12 in Brussels, Belgium, and, so far, runs through Dec. 21. Pollstar said the band would play in club-sized venues across Europe and England. Plant's band becomes the first cover band in history to be able to respond to bar crowds' cries of "Stairway! Stairway!" with any authority.

WILL THE REAL SLIM SHADY PLEASE READ NABAKOV?
Rumors are rampant that rap-rock music's favorite couple is on the mend. The New York Daily News is reporting that Eminem and his wife, Kimberly Mathers, are trying to work things out. The only problem is Peaches, a 16-year-old singer and high-school student from Staten Island. Gossip has the aspiring pop tart spending time with the Real Slim Shady. According to a "friend," Peaches and Em met in September, and his 5-year-old daughter, Haley, "adores" her. Eminem's camp denies the dish. Interscope's Dennis Dennehey claims it was a joke hatched by NY radio station Hot-97. Peaches simply said: "Listen to whatever his reps say," and continued to thumb her acrylic nails through the latest issue of Trailer Trash Teen.

DO NOT FILE UNDER "PEACEFUL, EASY FEELING"
A dozen songs from the new Eagles box set will be offered free over the Internet. Users will be able to download 12 live songs featured on the $60 four-CD set. The songs, recorded at a New Year's Eve concert in Los Angeles, will be released online Nov. 14, the same day "The Eagles: Selected Works 1972-1999" goes on sale. The downloads will be available at eight online retailers: Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, twec.com, CDNow.com, Borders.com, Checkout.com, TowerRecords.com and Musicland.com. None of the retailers will have all the songs, so fans will have to visit more than one site. "While we want to offer our fans something special for free," said Eagles member Don Henley, "we also want to make it as hard as possible."

DEEP THROAT
Blink 182 has canceled its scheduled Australian tour, which was to start Nov. 7, because drummer Travis Barker is sick. The dates had already been pushed back from Nov. 4. Barker is suffering from a contagious case of strep throat. The dates have yet to be rescheduled. "It's just not punk rock to cancel shows due to illness," said one Aussie fan. "He should want to infect the whole country." The sickness will also keep Barker from attending the Ricky Martin concert in New York.

UMG'S VALUATION NEARS $55B
Day one begins. (9/23a)
SAVE THE DATE: GRAMMY NOMS REVEALED 11/23
Whoa, that's early. (9/21a)
A HARD DAY’S
HITS LIST
Stars across the board (9/21a)
NEAR TRUTHS:
THE LUCIAN DECADE
A history lesson from I.B. Bad (9/23a)
SIR LUCIAN TURNS IT UP
As UMG goes solo, Grainge discusses leading the band. (9/20a)
HITS' 35TH ANNIVERSARY
A chronicle of the inexplicable.
GRAMMY: ALBUM OF THE YEAR
We make yet more predictions, which you are free to ignore.
2022 TOURS
May we all be vaxxed by then.
ROCK'S NEW CHAPTER
Power pop, global glam and the return of the loud.
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