But live performances by Aerosmith, who were joined by Kid Rock, and Queen, joined by the Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl, almost made the grueling evening bearable. Almost.
The tuxedoed and gowned music industry was out in full force to welcome new inductees Aerosmith, Queen, Michael Jackson, Paul Simon, Steely Dan, doo-wop group the Flamingos, Ritchie Valens, Solomon Burke, sidemen Johnnie Johnson and James Burton, and Island Records founder Chris Blackwell.
The always talkative Steven Tyler was almost humble, as shocking as that seems, when it came time for his band's induction. After American bad ass Kid Rock praised the band as "the greatest rock band in American history," they thanked their families for supporting a career that included early stardom, a steep fall and surprising resurrection.
This year marked Jackson and Simon's second inductions, after being previously recognized for their work with the Jackson 5 and Simon & Garfunkel. Apparently, Simon failed to thank enough people the first time, because his acceptance speech lasted more than 10 minutes, as heads nodded among the already tired crowd.
Jackson, who broke his foot recently at his ranch, hobbled onstage after a tribute by boy band NSYNC. "As you can see, there's not going to be any moonwalking tonight,'' whispered the ever-strange Jackson. In speech that was as short as Simon's was long, Jackson thanked Motown founder Berry Gordy and his "second mother" Diana Ross. He also gave thanks to his parents, though not his plastic surgeon.
Queen performed sports stadium theme "We Will Rock You'" as a trio—lead singer Freddie Mercury died of AIDS in 199—and "Tie Your Mother Down" with Grohl on vocals.
Moby inducted Steely Dan, saying, "They always seemed different somehow. On the one hand, their music is warm and beautiful, but on the other hand it is so unsettling." Ricky Martin did the honors for Valens, who died in a 1959 plane crash, and U2's Bono presented Blackwell, who was inducted in the non-performer category.
The night ended with the traditional jam session, this year featuring Steely Dan's "Do It Again" and Burke's "Everybody Needs Somebody To Love," with Aerosmith, Queen's Brian May and Burke pulling audience members onstage—though some of them had to be awakened first.
DANIEL NIGRO: CRACKING THE CODE
The co-writer-producer of the moment, in his own words (12/11a)
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NOW WHAT?
We have no fucking idea.
COUNTRY'S NEWEST DISRUPTOR
Three chords and some truth you may not be ready for.
AI IS ALREADY EATING YOUR LUNCH
The kids can tell the difference... for now.
WHO'S BUYING THE DRINKS?
That's what we'd like to know.
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