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Music Roundup All Gussied Up With Bold-Faced Words, Hyperlinks And Shit

AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO BUY THE DOMAIN NAME FROM A PORN PURVEYOR!
Over a decade since presidential hopeful Al Gore invented the Internet, The Beatles will finally launch their first official Web site—thebeatles.com, which will go live on Nov. 13, nearly 30 years after the band broke up. The launch coincides with the release of the band's latest collection, called "1"—a collection of all 27 of the Fab Four's #1 hits. "With a new CD coming out," a spokeswoman said, "it is the right time to put them on the Web and into the dot-com era." All three of the surviving members of The Beatles—who were a popular rock band in the mid-1900s—will contribute to the site, along with John Lennon's widow Yoko Ono. But moptop experts predict it will only be a matter of months before Beatles fans claim that the best parts of the Web site were written by John.

BEN FOLDS FIVE FOLDS, SIX FOLDS, A DOLLAR!
Ben Folds Five called it quits Tuesday (10/31), with each of the three members announcing plans to pursue solo projects. The group—composed of pianist/vocalist Ben Folds, bassist Robert Sledge and drummer Darren Jessee—formed in 1994, released three albums and had a hit with the single "Brick." "They had to call it quits," a music insider said. "With the trend in popular music these days, fewer and fewer music fans even know what a piano is."

KING OF THE HILL
The reunion of Dru Hill may not be happening as quickly as had been expected. Sisqo, the best-known member of the group due to his successful solo career, said that members of the group—which also includes Woody, Nokio, and Jazz—had a major argument that will prevent the completion of their third album, according to Launch.com. "For the Dru Hill project that we were gearing up to do, [there are] some shocking new developments and typical drama… same old same old," Sisqo said. "I don't know if it's gonna happen now." No one could confirm that Sisqo was pissed at his bandmates for refusing to wear nothing but thong-th-thong-thong-thongs.

ONE MORE CHANCE TO STRIP ON NATIONAL TV
Teeny-popper Britney Spears will host the 28th annual American Music Awards, which will take place at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles on Jan. 8. Nominations for the awards will be announced on Nov. 13. Spears, who turns 19 next month, will be the show's youngest host since 1989 when 18-year-old pop singer Debbie Gibson cohosted the event. "We can only hope hosting the AMAs does for Britney's career what it did for Debbie's," said one industry insider.

WILL THE REAL SLIM SHADY PLEASE
GET A RABBIT'S FOOT?

Controversial rapper Eminem is experiencing a string of bad luck. On Friday (10/27), he lost a notebook containing lyrics for his upcoming side project with Detroit rappers D-12 during a Delta Airlines flight from Cincinnati to New Orleans, reports MTV.com. The notebook, which, naturally, has a picture of Britney Spears on the cover, was in a shopping bag along with a portable CD player, headphones and various CDs. Eminem's camp is offering a "very generous" reward for the notebook and bag. Anyone with information can call 1-888-311-4343, or e-mail [email protected] Meanwhile, the BBC pegged Em as the next rapper to be whacked. The British broadcasters attribute the theory to Death Row rapper Tha Realist, who reportedly alludes to killing Em in his lyrics. "It would be a little redundant right now," said one British book-maker of the multi-Platinum, platinum-haired star. "He doesn't need the kind of sales boost that a gangland-style killing normally bestows upon a rapper."

AND SPEAKING OF DEATH ROW…
Label boss Marion "Suge" Knight may be released from prison in April 2001, after serving only four years of a nine-year sentence for his involvement in a 1996 brawl at a Las Vegas casino. Under California law, inmates who exhibit good behavior and work or attend school while incarcerated, may be eligible for early release. Knight, who received conjugal visits from HITS' own Roy Trakin at the Mule Creek facility in Ione, CA, was busy bending for the soap and unavailable for comment.

BORDERLINE HELLFIRE
Madonna
's quest for Web domination has ruffled the feathers of an order of Benedictine nuns. The sisters are outraged at the WIPO's recent ruling to give the Material Girl ownership of madonna.com. The UN committee sided against businessman Dan Parisi, who once used the domain as a porn site (hitsdailydouble, 10/17). Now, the sisters at Madonna Rehabilitation Hospital in Lincoln, NE, say Parisi promised the URL to them. Hospital spokesperson Carl Jesse said: "It's not a very Catholic thing to do. Madonna stopped us from getting the site. Mr. Parisi had offered us the site as a gift and we wanted it because it would have meant people could find us easily and it would have avoided all the confusion that goes on at the moment… We wanted that name because of the religious connotations." The order suggests Madonna relinquish the name or prepare for her pending damnation—watching "Who's That Girl" and "Body Of Evidence" for eternity.

IF IT'S HURTING YOU…
British popster Robbie Williams has offered to donate bone marrow to help an ailing fan. Williams proposed to undergo screening in hopes of being a match for Johanna MacVicar, a 23 year-old fan stricken with leukemia. Said Williams: "If I can help save somebody's life that easily, then count me in." Unfortunately, when it was explained to Williams that doctors would have to use a really long needle during the procedure, the singer muttered something about an "electrolysis session gone awry," and instead simply donated a T-shirt to be auctioned off for charity.

GOMEZ CONVICTED OF KILLING ROSAS WIFE
Gabriel Gomez, the half-brother of Los Lobos singer-guitarist Cesar Rosas' wife, Sandra Rosas, was found guilty Tuesday (10/31) of her kidnapping and murder, despite her body never having been recovered, according to Reuters. Sandra Rosas, has been missing since Oct. 23, 1999. The 40-year-old Gomez will be sentenced in two weeks and faces life in prison without parole. Gomez had denied the charges with his lawyers arguing that there was no proof that a murder or kidnapping ever occurred.

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