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"No one can possibly be disappointed with this kind of a massive sales week. The numbers have just been phenomenal."
——Brant Berry,
Fred Meyer

BACKSTREET'S BACK IN BLACK

OK, So They Didn’t Break NSYNC’s Record, But 1.6 Mil Ain’t Chopped Liver…
There they were in all their glory. Five stud-muffin multimillionaires in front of a packed New York news conference claiming they were going to break labelmate NSYNC's first-week sales record of 2.4 million copies.

As it turned out, Jive's Backstreet Boys bowed on this week's HITS chart with a mind-boggling 1.6 million-plus copies, thus creating a most unlikely reaction—disappointment over one of the biggest sales weeks in the history of the music business!

There is no official word on whether the band will be demanding a recount, but you can be sure Al Gore is on the case. 

"No one can possibly be disappointed with this kind of a massive sales week. The numbers have just been phenomenal," said Fred Meyer's lovely Brant Berry, who intends to break Virginite Vince Szydlowski's record of incredibly lame retail quotes by the end of the year.

"Backstreet Boys may not have broken NSYNC's sales record, but they have certainly shown they are a force to be reckoned with," gurgled the Brant-man, who is happy with the current Florida situation because he's a huge fan of Gavin Rossdale.

Of course it's not just about the Fab Five. Those other little teen faves, the Beatles, had an amazing second week on the shelves, registering at #2 on the Top 50 with sales north of 600K.

"What can you say about the Beatles?" queried Brant, who actually asked that question so someone could inform him who the Beatles are. "How many records this year went up in the second week? A Beatles record is still an event."

Rounding out this week's Top Five are Columbia's "NOW Vol. 5" at #3, with Curb's Tim McGraw posting a killer #4 debut and Loud/Columbia's Wu-Tang Clan bowing at #5. Both Tim and Wu pulled first-week sales of more than 300K.

Other album chart debuts included Motown's Erykah Badu at #12, Reprise's Enya at #22 and Cash Money's B.G. at #24.

Meanwhile, Florida Secretary of State Kathryn Harris promised to give the first-week sales record to Backstreet Boys in return for a weekend of hot monkey love in Orlando with Lou Pearlman on a bed of discarded chads.

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