SPHERE IS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND

The next-level venue known as Sphere will open in Las Vegas on 9/29 with a blockbuster debut: U2's Achtung Baby spectacular, which the rock legends will perform as part of a thing we're apparently not supposed to call a residency but involves them, you know, doing the show for a while in the same place.

Anyhoo, MSG's $2.5b, 18k-cap "immersive technology and communal virtual reality experience," in the parlance of board member John Sykes, will enable U2 to garnish its musical presentation with visuals that will cause jaws to drop, eyes to pop and hallucinations to become even more vivid than they were in the Uber on the way over. "It touches your senses in a way no other live experience has ever done before," proclaims Sykes, who adds that for an additional fee you can see the egress.

Sphere is only partly about music residencies; part of the opening of this marvelous orb will involve Oscar winner Darren Aronofsky's film Postcards From Earth, a globe-trotting experience that, according to rumor, makes Cinerama look like dog shit. Expect a fresh round of wonders 365 days a year.

We're trying to sneak in for the opening. If we survive, we'll tell you all about it.