Will artificial intelligence transform the music business in ways we can scarcely imagine? Undoubtedly. Will it bring about the destruction of humanity in pursuit of programmatic perfection? Possibly. Will it finally eliminate this annoying publication, which has persisted with the tenacity of the cockroach through myriad industry evolutions? One can only hope. Here’s what we know for certain: HITS, after 37 years, will cleave to its old-technology roots by continuing to phone it in.
To illustrate the anniversary special’s “theme” of AI, we turned to legendary MAD Magazine artist Sam Viviano, who gives us the wonderful rendering of scientist Alfred and the terrifying new invention that graces our cover. As this tableau suggests, there are some in the biz who imagine that musical success can be engineered in a lab with the proper code. Others believe AI will only enhance the spark of human creativity. But everyone can agree that we should’ve been terminated long ago.
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NEAR TRUTHS: REALIGNMENT AND RECOGNITION
Underscoring the year's biggest stories (11/19a)
NEAR TRUTHS: THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM
Nervous time in the music biz and beyond. (11/16a)
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NOW WHAT?
We have no fucking idea.
COUNTRY'S NEWEST DISRUPTOR
Three chords and some truth you may not be ready for.
AI IS ALREADY EATING YOUR LUNCH
The kids can tell the difference... for now.
WHO'S BUYING THE DRINKS?
That's what we'd like to know.
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