At the O2, UMG ruler Sir Lucian Grainge congratulates Capitol star Sam Smith and team on the massive success of smash single “Unholy.” In a related story, Beelzebub later tried to enter UMG’s afterparty and was told he wasn’t on the list. Seen just after giggling at Ted Cruz’s outraged tweets are (l-r) UMG U.K. chief David Joseph, EMI Co-President Jo Charrington, Smith, EMI Co-President Rebecca Allen and Sir Grainge.

“This is a great party,” notes Republic chief Monte Lipman. “When do they roll out the knishes?” Seen brainstorming a cross-cultural feast involving deli meats and butter sandwiches are (l-r) Lipman, Island U.K. MD Nicola Spokes, Republic Co-President Wendy Goldstein and Angelina Lipman. Later, the wallpaper seen in the background got a JV deal.

Sir Grainge poses with British Dance Act winner Becky Hill and Polydor President Ben Mortimer, seizing the opportunity to warn them to steer clear of weaselly American trade publications.

“I’ll have you know,” Capitol artist Lewis Capaldi informed Joseph, Charrington, Allen and Sir Grainge, “that I put on my most formal bathrobe for this photo opportunity. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll have a sit-down—these fuzzy slippers are killing me.” Later, there was haggis.

Charrington, Lipman and EMI’s Mae Stephens, Claudia Piazza, Archie Lamb, Marisa Hemson and Michaela Browne ponder the market potential of cannabis-infused Darjeeling.