RUMOR MILL
Tuesday, December 13, 2022
PARKS AND REC
Spotify Global Head of Editorial Sulinna Ong and buzzing, Mercury Prize-winning [PIAS] singer-songwriter Arlo Parks are seen here brandishing something called a "Polaroid," apparently a photograph from a former era that took as long as one minute to materialize—an interval that, in the present economy, would cause a global meltdown. In a related story, an influencer in a nearby booth took and deleted 67 selfies while we were writing this caption.
VMAs BEAMING BACK
TO THE BIG APPLE Getting back to where they once belonged (4/24a)
THE COUNT: ALL THE DESERT'S A STAGE
Jon Wayne is rolling over in his grave. (4/24a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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A CHORUS OF PRAISE: IVORS 2024 NOMSrumor mail
