This photo of a former U.S. President who was an expert in nuclear physics yet never felt compelled to steal top-secret papers related to nuclear weapons is brought to you by the forthcoming HITS 36th Anniversary Special, your annual reminder that (a) we suck and (b) we have boxes and boxes of documents to prove it. Shortly after this tableau was captured, Jimmy Carter told A&M visionaries Jerry Moss and Herb Alpert that during particularly intense cabinet meetings, Cyrus Vance would do a naughty dance to "Love Potion No. 9." Now, if you'll excuse us, we're going to slather ourselves in whipped cream and settle in for the weekend.
VMAs BEAMING BACK
TO THE BIG APPLE Getting back to where they once belonged (4/24a)
THE COUNT: ALL THE DESERT'S A STAGE
Jon Wayne is rolling over in his grave. (4/24a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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