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Thursday, December 16, 2021

SONG REVENUE: REINDEER GAINS

No less than 28 holiday songs adorn our Top 50 Song Revenue Chart, ringing up nearly $2.2m. Mariah Carey, who collects $150k, leads the way. We trust Rudolph will be fairly compensated for the use of his name, image and likeness. SZA’s “I Hate You,” which crashes the Christmas party at #2, seems a tad Grinch-y in this jolly company.

 
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NOW WHAT?
We have no fucking idea.
COUNTRY'S NEWEST DISRUPTOR
Three chords and some truth you may not be ready for.
AI IS ALREADY EATING YOUR LUNCH
The kids can tell the difference... for now.
WHO'S BUYING THE DRINKS?
That's what we'd like to know.
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