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WE LOVE ZOOM PICTURES, REALLY

What's better than a bunch of postage-stamp-sized faces floating atop a vertiginous background pattern? Verily, this pandemic is the gift that keeps on giving. But we digress. Team Capitol is majorly stoked about artist Duncan Laurence, whose single "Arcade" has been certified gold. Tower chief Jeff Vaughn assembled the U.S. and Netherlands teams for the virtual hootenanny captured here, during which he surprised the artist with this gilded news; you can see Duncan's ebullient response on the bottom row. Among those joining from their couches, kitchen banquettes and/or windmills: President/COO Michelle Jubelirer, GM Larry Mattera, President, Promotion/EVP Greg Marella and Universal International Music Netherlands CEO & Prexy Kees van der Hoeven. "Arcade" is the first Eurovision Song Contest winner to become a Top 100 U.S. single in 45 years and is now officially the biggest thing to hit the Dutch since tulipomania. Quick, everyone: Get vaccinated so we can return to in-person trade shots.

HITS LIST: AMPERSANDS
Dynamic duos (12/3a)
TAYLOR'S TREMENDOUS YEAR
She'd make one helluva CEO. (12/3a)
THEY CALL THE WINDFALL MARIAH (HOLIDAY EDITION)
Ch-chingle bells (12/3a)
SONG REVENUE:
BOWS OF HOLLY
Adele is money. (12/3a)
UTA MUSIC EXPANDS IN NASHVILLE
Reshuffling the deck (12/3a)
CHESTNUTS
Roasting.
STOCKINGS
Stuffing.
PIPERS
Piping.
SANTA
Coming.
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