MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, PART 8: A BRIEF HISTORY OF TIME

Ok, I finally figured it out, and I feel better now.

I actually lost track of the day of the week, and for a moment there what month it was, as well. Now I’m good. I checked my calendar, and it’s the 87th day of April.

Next, I’m going to work on what year it is.

As most of us hover around 50 days in isolation so far, people in the biz are growing accustomed to the New Normal in quite similar ways.

1. We are all seemingly working even harder than we have in ages—trying to make a difference and, as always, trying to win. But more essentially, it seems, we’re trying to prove our worth to ourselves and our associates. I know I constantly feel that way.
   
   
2. With no commuting time, no rushing to get to a lunch or dinner and no hanging out late at night with clients, we all still find ourselves exhausted at the end of each day. More exhausted than we’ve felt in quite a while.
   
   
3. The anxiety is always there in the background, and everyone knows it contributes mightily to that feeling of exhaustion. No one is taking half-days on spring Fridays. No one is taking a vacation day or week or, goodness, two weeks. We fight the good fight and our industry is thriving in the most difficult of times.
   
   
4. Golf courses have begun to trickle open, and the weather in Los Angeles is sunny and beautiful. People ask if I’m going to play on a Friday, and I haven’t even considered taking off for a relaxing 18—not with a business friend, not with anyone. It’s not just that the work keeps me centered, which it does. I need to work to get through each day.
   
   
5. I find that I’ve gotten the joy of working back. You know what I’m talking about: that incredible rush we all felt during our early days in the biz, when everything felt new and exciting. It’s also the pleasure of feeling connected to a community, which (perhaps ironically) feels more powerful during this time of isolation. Every FaceTime call feels special, even nourishing. The world may be royally fucked up, but we can keep each other going. We are all friends for real.

I’d love to take a summer Friday off someday soon, but I simply can’t do that yet. And, it is not just because working is helping to keep me alive, sane and feeling valuable.

It’s also because I have no idea when Friday is.