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TRICK OR TREAT, OR WHATEVER THIS IS

We used to be able to enjoy Halloween unironically. It was monsters and ghosts and vampires and candy and pumpkins, untinged by the soul-crushing angst of a reality far scarier than any horror fiction. But here's hoping you can enjoy this yearly spook-a-thon without spending the whole time thinking about our national nightmare. We're dressing up as our younger selves, when we still had hopes for a career.

NEAR TRUTHS: KINGDOMS
File under: The enemy of my enemy is my friend. (3/26a)
ONE SHINING HITS LIST
She shoots, she scores! (3/26a)
YTD MARKET SHARE
Zeroing in on the elite teams (3/27a)
BEST IN THE WEST:
STEVE BERMAN
High time for another Eminem skit (3/26a)
MUSIC REVENUE TOPPED $17B IN 2023: RIAA
Streaming subscriptions lead the charge. (3/27a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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