CAPITOL CONGRESS: THEY WANTED TO DO IT "WITHOUT" US

Prior to receiving a plaque marking 5m adjusted sales for smash “Without Me” and sitting down for an interview with writer Lizzy Goodman, Capitol star Halsey—resplendent in a Nine Inch Nails T-shirt—joined her label team for this Congressional photo op. Seen just before moving a bill to ban us out of committee are (l-r) CMG VP Global Marketing Arjun Pulijal, EVP Promo Greg Marella, UMPG ruler Jody Gerson, CMG boss Steve Barnett, Halsey, CMG EVP of A&R Jeremy Vuernick, COO Michelle Jubelirer, EVP Marketing Mitra Darab and EVP of Marketing Robbie McIntosh.​

What else went down during Capitol Congress? We're glad you asked. Let's take a magical trip back in time.

The year was 2019; the place was a magical land called Hollywood.

In his opening remarks (which followed an amusing cold-open short film in which a mad-with-power Lewis Capaldi takes over the Tower), Barnett ticked off an array of recent successes, including hits by Capaldi, Sam Smith, Halsey and NF, heaped praise on his global team and proclaimed "Diversity is our superpower. We don't just welcome it; we strive to achieve it and embrace it fully."

Megastar Katy Perry, who debuted her new single, "Small Talk," for the assembled faithful and received a plaque marking 100m song certificiations, poses with Steve Barnett and team. Perry is one of just five artists ever to join the 100m certified songs club with their digital singles (see an exhaustive chronicle of her RIAA certs here), which entitles her to a free large popcorn at any Arclight. Seen just before a screening of that scary nun movie in an adjoining cinema are (l-r) Ambrosia Healy, Greg Marella, Mitra Darab, Ashley Newton, Perry, Barnett, Michelle Jubelirer, managers Bradford Cobb and Ngoc Hong-DelVecchio and Robbie McIntosh.

This dynamic action shot of Barnett and colleagues crystallizes the cinematic intensity of the Congress. Seen just before their stunt doubles stepped in for the kung-fu sequence are (l-r) Will Tanous, Boyd Muir, Jody Gerson, Barnett, Michelle Jubelirer, Michele Anthony and Jeff Harleston.

Niall Horan kicked the star power up a few notches, performing two songs from his forthcoming sophomore album (with producer Greg Kurstin tinkling the ivories) and graciously accepting a plaque for 3m+ global adjust sales for debut set, Flicker. He also posed for the above photo in the green room, joined by Ashley Newton, Greg Marella, Kurstin, Barnett, Jubes, Mitra Darab, Robbie McIntosh and Modest's Will Bloomfield, before challenging Lewis Capaldi to a dance-off.

Quality Control and Motown announced a partnership with Imagine Kids+Family to produce an animated series for kids based in the Atlanta hip-hop/culture scene. Seen before morphing into their toon avatars are (l-r) Quality Control's Pierre "Pee" Thomas, Marginal Media Works CEO Sanjay Sharma, QC COO Coach K Lee, Imagine Kids+Family prez Stephanie Sperber, Quavo, CMG SVP Brian Nolan, VP Ryan Allingham and Motown head Ethiopia Habtemariam.

Habtemariam sat down with filmmaker Melina Matsoukas (Insecure, Master of None, Beyoncé's "Formation") to discuss the latter's feature directorial debut, the drama Queen and Slim, which hits theaters 11/27. Jody Gerson talked about She Is the Music with Annenberg Inclusion Initiative leader Dr. Stacy L. Smith. BJ the Chicago Kid was at the center of a freshly announced Bose-CMG partnership, in which augmented-reality spy glasses play a central and terrifying role.

"I believe I speak for our entire global team when I say, '무료 샌드위치에 자신을 도와주세요,'" offered Capitol ruler Steve Barnett to SM Entertainment chief and leading K-Pop impresario Young-min Kim. The occasion was the Capitol Congress confab in Hollywood, and as Barnett intimated in his impeccable Korean, the sandwiches were indeed complimentary.

A CMG-Caroline partnership with SM has produced the new K-Pop supergroup SuperM, which will bow in the U.S. in October; we'll just end the suspense now by telling you the lineup: Taemin, Baekhyun, Kai, Taeyong, Mark, Lucas and Ten.

I know, right?

Seen just before enjoying a breezy rom-com in an adjoining cinema are (l-r) Caroline's Matt Sawin, Young-min Kim, Caroline boss Jacqueline Saturn, SM's Soo-man Lee, COO Michelle Jubelirer and Barnett.

Announcing a deal between ESPN and Cletus the Van/Caroline’s Judah & The Lion that will find the band providing music for something called “college football” are (l-r)Senior Manager at Sync Gabriella Henriques, Triple 8 Management’s Paul Steele, ESPN Music Director Kevin Wilson, CMG COO Michelle Jubelirer, ESPN’s Emeka Ofodile and CMG SVP, Agency Brian Nolan.​​

All in all, it was better than a day at the movies.

THE HITS LIST TURKEY TROT
...with all the trimmings (11/22a)
AN AWARD-WINNING CMA GALLERY
Cowboy hats and funny caps (11/21a)
NEAR TRUTHS: WITCHING HOUR
It's not easy being green. (11/21a)
NEAR TRUTHS: REALIGNMENT AND RECOGNITION
Underscoring the year's biggest stories (11/19a)
NEAR TRUTHS: THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM
Nervous time in the music biz and beyond. (11/16a)
NOW WHAT?
We have no fucking idea.
COUNTRY'S NEWEST DISRUPTOR
Three chords and some truth you may not be ready for.
AI IS ALREADY EATING YOUR LUNCH
The kids can tell the difference... for now.
WHO'S BUYING THE DRINKS?
That's what we'd like to know.
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