"It's an honor to follow in your footsteps—I'm committed to doing your legacy proud," says Warner Bros. Records CEO Aaron Bay-Schuck to the legendary Mo Ostin. "Do you have any advice?" After a pause, the industry icon replied, "For a big enough check you can get Paul Simon back from that snake Yetnikoff." Later, Aaron did 8,563 more crunches.
THIS HITS PHOTO GALLERY IS WANDERING IN THE DESERT
Photographic proof of the weaselfest (4/15a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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