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WHY? BECAUSE WE LIKE THEM

Somewhere behind a secret passageway in the cavernous recesses of a major amusement park, Disney Music Group boss Ken Bunt, Promo head Scot Finck and associates undergo a solemn ritual commemorating their 20-year anniversaries at the company. "Huh-huh, Ken, you're a heckuva fine leader," chuckled Disney's Big Cheese. "And Scotty, huh-huh, I need those spins upped in Denver, buddy, chop-chop. And now, on to the feats of strength!"

Note: There were no feats of strength, Mickey didn't grind Scot about airplay and in no way is an attorney standing over us as we type this.